Congratulations. If you’re reading this blog, it’s probably because there’s someone wonderful in your life and you are looking for a way to tell them exactly how wonderful they are. Or you have messed up in your relationship somehow, but that relationship is strong enough that you reasonably believe that you can set things right with romantic flowers.
Movies would have us believe that the height of romantic gestures is to order two dozen red roses and call it a day. That, however, is the “C” student of giving flowers. You can do better than that. I am here to support you. Let’s start by setting out some basic guidelines.
Who Can Give Flowers to Whom?
There’s a lot of outdated gendered nonsense out there about who can give flowers to whom and which partner enjoys getting flowers. All of that needs to be thrown in the garbage. Any person of any gender can and should send romantic flowers to any person of any gender.
When to Give Romantic Flowers to Someone You’ve Recently Met
Think carefully and objectively about when to give flowers to a new love interest. Flowers on a first date sounds very suave, but think about a few things. A) logistics. Are you bringing the flowers to the person’s home or will your date have to hold a bouquet through dinner and a movie?
B) optics. Flowers on the first date could be construed as moving quickly. Will this make your date uncomfortable? Can you pass the gesture off casually or will you appear very, very eager for their approval?
It’s a tricky needle to thread, which is why flowers on a first date usually isn’t done anymore. If you forge ahead anyway, it’s crucial that you give this gift without strings, as simply a nice thing to do for someone who might, without any need for justification, walk out of your life forever in 4 hours’ time.
Let’s assume, however, that the date went well. From now on, if your new interest has mentioned loving flowers, then you’re in the clear and can give them at any time. If they haven’t mentioned it, ask them if that gesture would be welcome.
Tips for Giving Flowers to a New Romantic Interest
Let’s assume they’ve told you they’re down with receiving flowers. If you’re someone who’s very shy, or who struggles with social anxiety, it’s 100% ok to send flowers for the first time rather than give them in person.
If this is the first time you’re sending flowers, don’t send them to the person’s workplace. Maybe your romantic interest will think this is a dashing gesture but maybe they will not appreciate it. Ask them about their preferences first. Sending flowers to their home is a much safer bet.
Although on that note, do not send flowers to someone’s home unless you have been invited there first and given the address. The optics of you having done intensive internet research to find out where someone lives are not good for you.
When to Give Romantic Flowers to Someone You’re in a Relationship With
You know this already, but let’s review: special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries; random “just because” days; days when you’ve done something bad and are buying flowers as part of your apology.
Tips for Giving Flowers to a Significant Other
Timing is everything. If you’re buying flowers for a special occasion, plan ahead. Florists are swamped at certain times of the year, and you don’t want to be caught in a bind if you call last minute and your order can’t be filled.
It’s not about the money. The romance of giving flowers is 20% about the flowers and 80% about the intention and care that went into the gift. Nonetheless, if you’re strapped for cash but you still want to make the gesture, this list of Florist Coupon Sites That Will Save You Money may be helpful.
Random is good. Flowers on Valentine’s Day can feel a little obligatory. They just don’t have the same emotional impact as flowers on a Tuesday or whatever because you noticed that your significant other seemed a bit down lately.
Flowers mean things. The Victorians had a whole language for what every flower meant. Read up on their wacky ideas and pick flowers that say the specific thing you have in mind. It adds a little something extra to your gift, whether you mention this extra meaning earnestly or use it as a platform to make fun of the Victorians.
Always think about the gift from the other person’s perspective. Especially if these are apology flowers. What would make them happiest?
What Are the Best Romantic Flowers to Send?
The best romantic flowers to send are the flowers your significant other loves the most. Remembering a person’s favourite flowers is thoughtful, and it’s that thoughtfulness that takes your gesture from conventional to grand. If you don’t have this information, though, don’t despair.
If the flowers aren’t a surprise, you can ask your partner’s preferences by telling your partner that you’d like to get them flowers and that you want to get them their favourite kind. That removes a bit of the mystique, but frankly, if you didn’t know their favourites and were wildly guessing anyway, the gift would not have had the aura of mystique so much as the aura of blind panic.
If you’re good at ferreting out information, you can try to sleuth it out of them, but you will have to be very, very good at sleuthing for them not to know what’s up.
You can also follow other clues to arrive at some ideas for the kinds of flower arrangement they might prefer. Do they have a favourite colour? Is there a colour palette they usually wear? What’s their interior decoration game like? Do they have a favourite season?
Are there places you’ve gone together where flowers were a part of the backdrop? Has your significant other told you about any childhood memories you can use to guide you?
Most importantly, think about the person you’re giving the flowers to. Are they freewheeling? Maybe some sunflowers, or a bouquet of wildflowers. Are they soft and sentimental? Maybe some violets, or something ruffled, like parrot tulips. Are they dramatic? Over the top? Perhaps some bright gerbera daisies or a single giant dahlia.
Got it. What are the Least Romantic Flowers to Send?
The least romantic flowers are flowers that your partner hates and ones that die very quickly. Follow the advice above about finding out what your partner likes and then flip it to determine if there are flowers your partner might hate. Stay away from flowers that look a bit past their prime or that you know have been out in the heat for a while. Regardless of variety, they just won’t last long.
Stay away from flowers that have a strong fragrance (like many lilies, lilacs, gardenias and jasmine) until you know whether your significant other likes that scent. Also avoid any flower that’s too exotic or postmodern looking until you know whether that’s your partner’s style.
Unless your partner has experience in plant care, don’t give them a potted orchid. If they garden and can keep the orchid alive, the orchid is an elegant gift. If not, you have just given your partner a depressing chore they are likely to fail at.
In Closing
As with every part of your relationship, giving romantic flowers well depends on you taking the time to get to know your partner’s preferences and thinking about the gift from their perspective. When you nail that, you give a classic, usually welcome gift that shows someone you’ve been thinking about them and that makes their day brighter.
Feature image: Valeria Boltneva; Image 1: Karolina Grabowska
